Politics is nasty, dirty business filled with liars, cheaters and other assorted lowlifes. In spite of that, it's still not nearly as much fun as sports.
In these troubled times, voter apathy remains an ongoing concern, yet sports fanatacism continues to grow and spread like a colorful, sweaty virus. Of course, one has absolutely nothing to do with the other but for the sake of this article, I'm going to pretend that it does. And in the process of doing so, I'm going to attempt to make the point that the political process of electing leaders is unsavory and off-putting as illustrated by this example of what it would be like if sports were like politics...
A Message From Terry Francona
"Oh hi there! I was just sitting here, bottle-feeding a litter of adorable Golden Retriever puppies that were abandoned by their mother and reflecting on the 2010 season. It was a crazy year. We suffered a lot...and I mean a lot of injuries. We lost considerable time from key contributors Jacoby Ellsbury, Josh Beckett, Clay Buchholz, Dustin Pedroia, Victor Martinez and Kevin Youkilis among others. Those are all critical injuries that would have sunk a lesser club. Yet we were in the pennant race up until the last few days of the season, in the best division in baseball! Heck, the Baltimore Orioles, who finished last in our division, are better than the Chicago White Sox and Oakland A's put together. But we didn't sink; we fought and persevered and managed to finish 3rd! That's the kind of leadership you can count on from me as manager. The kind of leadership that won not one but two world championships after nearly an entire century of futility and frustration. Re-elect me as manager of the Boston Red Sox and I'll keep fighting the fat cats in New York, the special interests in Tampa Bay and Baltimore and I'll keep an eye on those in Toronto who seek to cross our borders and take our playoff spots. I'm Terry Francona and i approve this message."
A Message From The Committee To Elect DeMarlo Hale or maybe some other guy, but geez, not friggin' Francona again.
"So Terry Francona is sitting around and crying about injuries. Boo friggity hoo. Since when aren't injuries a part of baseball?
FACT: 100% of Major League Baseball teams had at least one player on the disabled list at some point or another during the 2010 season
FACT: Less than 100% of Major League Baseball teams finished the 2010 season as low as 3rd place.
Besides, shouldn't Terry Francona take some responsibility for those injuries, instead of passing the buck? After all, Dustin Pedroia has never come out publically and said that Terry Francona didn't push him down a flight of stairs. Why is that? Can we be sure he didn't push those Golden Retriever puppies' mom down the stairs too?
Terry Francona: Bad for Boston, bad for Golden Retrievers. (paid for by the Committee To Elect DeMarlo Hale or maybe some other guy, but geez, not friggin' Francona again.) "