Make no mistake, just because I'm picking at a 75% clip to start this season doesn't mean I'm getting cocky or believe I have this thing figured out. I've been doing this pick thing a while now and I know that my 6-10 week is just around the corner. It's creeping up on me - I can feel it - just like the buxom co-ed, home alone on a dark and stormy night and noticing the sliding glass door is inexplicably open.
Something bad is coming for me in my pick segment.
Will this be the week that Jigsaw comes on the TV and tells me my test is to watch the Kansas City Chiefs play football?
God no...give me the SAW so I can cut myself outta here...anything but the Chiefs.
Here's my Week Three predictions:
Last Week: 13-3 81% Season Totals: 24-8 75% Upset Special: 1-1 50% Bucs Picks: 1-1 50%
Carolina 30, Jacksonville 13 - Okay Cam Newton, you've made your point. I should be starting Steve Smith on my Fantasy team. Message received.
Detroit 24, Minnesota 17 - Never ask a Minnesota Vikings player for change for a dollar. They'll only give you two quarters. Meanwhile in Motown, is this the week Mr. Glass finally shatters?
New Orleans 64, Houston 56 - Neither team has a defense. It's a fantasy football player geek-gasm...and I have no players in this game. Damn you, Marques Colston!
Upset Special: NY Giants 20, Philadelphia 17 - With Mike Vick iffy and the Eagles coming off a physical/emotional game in Atlanta, I think the New Jersey M*A*S*H unit may have a chance to surprise the "Dream team".
Cleveland 27, Miami 20 - I really like Colt McCoy, I think he quietly is putting it together for the Brownies and lord knows anyone who faces Miami is good for at least 350 yards.
Tennessee 13, Denver 10 - I gotta say, Tennessee's shocking victory over Baltimore opened my eyes.
David Hasselhoff Matthew Hasselbeck is off to a solid start with the Flaming Thumbtacks (thanks, BSPN) and Denver's so desperate to make their fans happy they're putting Tebow in at wide receiver. You hear that Glazers? An owner trying to make the fans happy. You should try it some time. No Joel - get off the phone - we don't want Tebow, either.
Cincinnati 20, San Francisco 10 - This was a difficult game to pick because frankly, I don't care what happens in this game. Of course, this will be the game they feature the most on Red Zone. The Bungels have the better statistical numbers and they're at home.Oh how we long for the days of Joe Montana and Sam Wyche. If only I could track down that Doctor who floats around in a blue 1960's British Police Box...
New England 38, Buffalo 30 - What a great story the Buffalo Bills are this season. I think they'll give the Patriots all they can handle but for now, I still stick with Brady over Fitzpatrick - although it's not the mismatch some envisioned in the past.
Upset Special #2 Oakland 20, NY Jets 16 - Wow, a daily double in upset specials this week. Yep, 6-10 is coming for me this week for sure. Anyway, the Jets have to cross the country to play in the Black Hole - but this year the Hole is sapping the talent of the opposition, not the Raiders.
San Diego 40, Kansas City 3 - It looks like San Diego will avoid the blackout this week, Kansas City television stations may impose their own blackout (thanks, Mike Florio).
Baltimore 23, St. Louis 17 - I'd just like to know who in the league office did the Rams tick off to get this schedule? Start the season with Philly, the Giants and Baltimore? Geez. If the Ravens lose this game everything they gained in beating Pittsburgh in Week One will be lost. Actually, they probably lost it last week in Tennessee - but hey, I'm a second chance kinda guy.
Atlanta at Tampa Bay - As always, we'll be previewing this game with an in depth hard hitting analysis that will be completely off the mark later today. Meanwhile, a hint at my predicted victor - the winner has red as a primary color in one of their uniforms.
Chicago 30, Green Bay 27 - The Bears have been waiting for this one since the end of the NFC Championship Game. I'd expect Jay Cutler would have to carried off on a gurney to leave this game. Then again...the way the Chicago offensive line has been protecting him...still, revenge is sweet in Chi-town.
Arizona 10, Seattle 7, Us 0 - Worst. Game. Ever.
Pittsburgh 27, Indianapolis 6 - How much you want to bet NBC wishes Flex Games started this week?