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Some Helpful Suggestions On The New NFL Anthems

In case you missed it yesterday, the NFL is making anthems for each of its 32 franchises. Wanting to help out in this endeavor, Bill Hanstock at the mothership volunteered to pick a musical act to record said anthems for each team.

First up are the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and given their late season swoon last year, the Bucs look to a former teen idol and teen idol to revamp his only big hit,

Not unlike K-Ci & JoJo, Aaron Carter is another musician who has surprisingly never stopped performing, although hardly anyone is aware of it. Yes, Carter is a Tampa native, but this new-anthem initiative seems like a perfect chance to reprise his most famous (or at least, most memorable) novelty-pop song ever. The great thing? His slickly produced "That's How I Beat the Buccaneers" actually seems feasible.

I don't know if you caught the last 10 games of the Buccaneers' 2011 season, but Aaron Carter DEFINITELY could have beaten them. And covered the spread.

When it comes to the Miami Dolphins, Hanstock looks to a South Beach DJ to put fear in the other 31 teams in the league,

I don't know if you're familiar with DJ Khaled, but he is a Miami-based DJ who makes a bunch of remixes and mixtapes, all of which feature drops of him just yelling "LISTENNNNN," "WE THE BESSSSTTTTT" and several similarly brief boasts. The Dolphins do the same thing during the offseason, except they hope it will trick people into thinking they're an actual football team.

As for the Jaguars, Hanstock the one band good enough to give Jacksonville the anthem they need,

Did you know that Lynyrd Skynyrd is from Jacksonville? Yeah, me neither -- we must have all missed that big B-side, "Sweet Home Jacksonville" -- so they obviously don't get the nod here. The Jags need an anthem-creator that wholeheartedly embraces and owns the Jacksonville aesthetic; an act that encapsulates exactly what it means to be "Jacksonville."

I'm referring, of course, to Limp Bizkit.

Photographs by, thelastminute, turtlemom nancy , fesek, kthypryn, justinwright, sue_elias, pointnshoot, and scrapstothefuture used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.