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Like my beloved Tampa Bay Buccaneers, consistency is quickly becoming an issue in the picks segment. One week after posting a sparkling 12-1 record, I stunk up the joint with a 6-7 week. I've been telling you all year long that this (the 6-7) was more the norm for me than the 12-1 weeks, yet you still continued to use my selections for your office pools and "just for entertainment purposes only" off-shore brokering.
Rather than come for my witty witless banter, you used me to score an edge. Well, all I can say is you didn't heed my warnings and got what you deserved.
For the rest of you, I'll continue on with poking fun at all of the teams in the NFL and my pitiful ability to pick games in this week's segment.
You can give me this much - at least I publish my results, unlike some "experts" I know...
Last Week: 6-7 Season: 72-31 69% Upset Specials: 7-4 63% Bucs Picks: 5-2 7%
Byes: Falcons, Bears, Packers, Jets, Raiders, Buccaneers
New Orleans 500, St. Louis 3 - Fresh off putting a 60-burger on the Dolts, they get the silent (offense) of the Lambs. Sam Bradford looks iffy for the game but in the grand scheme of things - does it really matter?
Houston 20, Jacksonville 12 - How bout those Jacksonville Jaguars? Big win on Monday Night even though no one in the world saw it. We all know the stat about how the Monday Night winner fares the next week...the trend will continue.
Baltimore 36, Arizona 6 - The Ravens will be a bunch of Angry Birds after getting embarrassed by Jacksonville in front of millions of turned off television sets. Be afraid Arizona, be very afraid.
Tennessee 26, Indianapolis 23 - I have to imagine that after that horrible performance on Sunday night, the Dolts will give the Flaming Thumbtacks (thanks, BSPN) all they can handle. If this game was in Indy, I may have called an upset special here....it's not and I won't.
Carolina 23, Minnesota 16 - A week after giving the Super Bowl Champs all they could handle, the Vikings head on the road to face last year's winner of the Repus Bowl. They'll still fall short against Cam's crew, but Christian Ponder looks promising.
NY Giants 31, Miami 13 - There's no truth to the rumor the Dolphins are going to bury Tony Sparano underneath MetLife Stadium's turf - with a Tim Tebow jersey on.
Upset Special: Denver 20, Detroit 17 - If it was Kyle Orton at QB, I'd be picking the Lions - but in this instance - the Power of Tebow Compels Me...
Buffalo 30, Washington 23 - Both the Bills and Skins have hit the skids a little bit. However, I'm a bigger believer in the The Amish Rifle than Rex or Beck at this point.
Cincinnati 25, Seattle 7 - I honestly can't believe Seattle has two wins. Who did they come against - Catwalaga State and NE South Directional?
New England 30, Pittsburgh 17 - I believe the Steelers are 5-1 since Warren Sapp called them old...but Brady's Bunch is better than the dregs Pittsburgh has been feasting on.
San Francisco 31, Cleveland 13 - The Niners are legit. The Browns are illegit.
Sunday Night
Philadelphia 26, Dallas 17 - If the "Dream Team" hopes to be a playoff contender - this is a must win game. Tony Romo will do something to lose it for the Pokes.
Monday Night
San Diego 30, Kansas City 20 - Whomever scheduled Monday Night Football for BSPN this year should be fired. I know, allegedly its the league office that decides the schedule but you can't tell me the networks don't have a say in who they want to showcase. The Super Chargers will beat the Chiefs...but other than the fans of those respective teams, will anyone truly care?
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