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NFL Picks Week 16: DLT's Deadlocks

SB Nation Tampa Bay' JC De La Torre gives out gifts and wishes to the NFL's teams in his Week 16 picks. Did yours receive a lump of coal?

It's Christmas time and let's just say the NFL gave yours truly a lump of coal last week. Upsets galore dotted the NFL landscape leaving me with a putrid 7-9 record for the week.

It's definitely one of those weeks that let's me know I'm closer to Sargent Schultz than Colonel Hogan when it comes to picking games. I know nothing....NOTHING.

With all that said, let's give out some gifts to our NFL teams...and hopefully my picks can grow two sizes....

Last Week: 7-9   Overall: 145-79 65%  Upset Specials: 9-15 37% Bucs Picks: 9-5 64%

Thursday Night

Houston 23, Indianapolis 20 - Okay, I admit it, I didn't pick the Colts. Merry Christmas Indy. Houston - my gift to you is a miracle drug to get your guys healthy before the playoffs.

Saturday

Kansas City 23, Oakland 13 - My gift for the Chiefs is another win for Romeo Crennel, for the Raiders, it's some consistency.

Tennessee 23, Jacksonville 10 - My gift for the Flaming Thumbtacks is a win that keeps their fleeting playoff hopes alive. For the Jags, KHAAAAAAAAN!

New England 30, Miami 20 - The Patriots get a big division win to move a step closer to home field advantage. Miami gets a higher draft pick for that new coach.

Arizona 23, Cincinnati 13 - For the Cardinals, a sneak into the playoffs. For Bengals fans, consolation that their team had a surprisingly good year with a rookie at the helm.

Denver 17, Buffalo 13 - The Lord took a week off from the Tebows last week, my gift to them this week....more divine intervention. For Bills Fans - the end of another disappointing year.

Pittsburgh 20, St. Louis 13 - The Steelers get a win to keep things interesting in the AFC North while the Rams inch closer to the top pick in the draft.

NY Jets 23, NY Giants 20 - For the Jets, playoff hopes restored. For the Giants fans, Alyssa Milano.

Washington 13, Minnesota 10 - For the Skins, a rare win. For the Vikings, a better shot at Andrew Luck.

Carolina 30, Tampa Bay 10 -  For the Panthers a third place finish. For the Bucs, a new voice.

Baltimore 23, Cleveland 13 - Probably the hardest team to predict in the NFL are the Ravens. One week they can destroy Pittsburgh, the next lose to a team like Cleveland. For Ravens fans, I'm giving them a team playing up to their potential. For Browns fans, the return of 2010's version of Peyton Hillis.

Detroit 23, San Diego 13 - For Lions fans, a playoff berth. For Charger fans, Ch-ch-changes.

Dallas 30, Philadelphia 10 - For the Cowboys, control of the NFC East, for Philadelphia - Andy Reid's head (freeing him up to come to Tampa...oh Christmas star...please make this happen).

Upset Special: Seattle 23, San Francisco 20 - For Seahag fans, a win over the division champs. For the Niners, the ability to recover from the Monday Night hangover.

Sunday Night

Green Bay 40, Chicago 13 - For the Packers, home field advantage throughout. For the Bears, a quarterback who doesn't throw it to the other team.

Monday Night

New Orleans 30, Atlanta 20 - For New Orleans, a division title. For Atlanta, a consolation wild card.

I wish you and yours the happiest of holidays!

Photographs by cstreet.us, thelastminute, turtlemom nancy , fesek, kthypryn, justinwright, sue_elias, pointnshoot, and scrapstothefuture used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.